Anyone that knows me knows I am a tad bit obsessive. I easily become consumed with new things whether its people, hobbies, or recent self discoveries. At this point in my weight loss I am finding myself overly obsessed with food. Yes, you could argue I was obsessed with food before, but this is a different type of obsession.
I feel like every minute of the day I am planning around food. I am either planning what to have for a meal, what to buy at the store, or when to eat the next thing on my list. My brain is on overload! Before when I used to binge eat I wouldn’t think about food all day, I would just get an urge and binge and then be done with it. This was definitely not a good approach, but I wasn’t obsessing about food every minute of every day. Because I am attempting to eat every couple hours (to boost my metabolism) I find myself eager to eat the next thing that I pre-planned for the day. The scary thing is it’s not because I am hungry! It’s more like a check list that I feel like I have to accomplish.
I have learned with past experiences that if you fail to plan- plan to fail! Cliché? I know, but true. I know that I have to continue to plan for my day and take challenges as they come to be successful, but how do I do this without it consuming me?
As for my goals for last week I did really well. I started riding my stationary bike every other day and walking in between. I didn’t do full out power walks, but I did walk while my son biked to the playground and things like that. I also did not have a single binge the entire week.
The exercise seems to be going ok, however I am not even close to where I want to be. I want to push myself hard, because in the past I when I did work out I pushed myself to the max. Now I find myself being more cautious because of my weight and the medication I am on for my heart. I’m scared to push too hard in fear of I’ll have a heart attack. I guess I am in my “baby steps” phase.
This week’s weigh-in was disappointing. I still lost, but I didn’t make my 2 pound a week goal. However, my average is still over 2lbs a week so I guess that is what counts. I can’t help but to upset over it though. I made really good choices when I went out to eat and I even resisted all of the crap food at Darien Lake. Oh well, I hope I have better luck next week. (Un-motivating!)
For this next week my goal is to find a self-soothing exercise that is not related to food and work on incorporating that into my schedule. It is important to find something that can relive your stress and make you feel good-however it is hard for someone like me (who relies on food) to find something that truly works. Now that we are done feeling sick, I need to make sure I am spending sometime on my mental health as well as my physical.
Until next week…
Jamie Lee :0)
Week 2 (10/4/10)
Weigh-in: 352.0 lbs
----------------------
Loss of: 1.6 lbs
Total Loss: 5.2 lbs
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Week 1: Challenges
What a week! If you wanted to try and test your stressors then this would have been the perfect week for you. Not only were we trying to recover from being sick, but my poor little mini broke his arm. This really made me work on one of my greatest challenges- emotional eating. It is habitual for me to stuff all of my feelings down my throat with whatever I can find. When I am tired, frustrated, sad, lonely, you name it, I want to eat everything. Not because I am hungry or bored, but because I am programmed to eat my emotions. One of the most difficult things about trying to re-train myself is resisting the urge to shovel junk.
I found myself sticking to my plan for most of the week until I got to Monday-Oh Monday! After working, finding someone to pick-up my son because his arm was hurting, being sick, and braving an adult WW meeting with an actively talkative 4 year old, my patience were shot. I found myself snacking obsessively until I put myself to bed to end the misery I call MONDAY. That night I cried obsessively, feeling sorry for myself as usual, hoping I had not undone the weight I had taken off the week prior. It’s funny how even when you know the consequences you don’t care about the after math when you are giving into temptation. It is not until you take a step back and realize the only person you are sabotaging is yourself, then you feel like crap!
Anyway, another one of my biggest challenges is not knowing how to LET THINGS GO! I don’t do this, ever! So, I made a promise to myself that even though I used my extra weekly WW points binging on junk, I would get back on and take Tuesday by the throat and show it whose boss. And, I did! I started right back on plan and forgot about the negativity from Monday. I also started riding my stationary bike for some exercise, and when I peeked at the scale I was still down this morning.
My goals this week are to get some sort of exercise daily. I also have a personal goal to clean my HOUSE (Who lives like this!?).
Until next week…
Jamie Lee :0)
Week 1 (9/27/10)
Start Weight 357.2
Weigh-in 353.6
---------------
Loss of: 3.6 lbs
I found myself sticking to my plan for most of the week until I got to Monday-Oh Monday! After working, finding someone to pick-up my son because his arm was hurting, being sick, and braving an adult WW meeting with an actively talkative 4 year old, my patience were shot. I found myself snacking obsessively until I put myself to bed to end the misery I call MONDAY. That night I cried obsessively, feeling sorry for myself as usual, hoping I had not undone the weight I had taken off the week prior. It’s funny how even when you know the consequences you don’t care about the after math when you are giving into temptation. It is not until you take a step back and realize the only person you are sabotaging is yourself, then you feel like crap!
Anyway, another one of my biggest challenges is not knowing how to LET THINGS GO! I don’t do this, ever! So, I made a promise to myself that even though I used my extra weekly WW points binging on junk, I would get back on and take Tuesday by the throat and show it whose boss. And, I did! I started right back on plan and forgot about the negativity from Monday. I also started riding my stationary bike for some exercise, and when I peeked at the scale I was still down this morning.
My goals this week are to get some sort of exercise daily. I also have a personal goal to clean my HOUSE (Who lives like this!?).
Until next week…
Jamie Lee :0)
Week 1 (9/27/10)
Start Weight 357.2
Weigh-in 353.6
---------------
Loss of: 3.6 lbs
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Fresh Start
Everyone needs a fresh start every so often to re-gain their focus, this is mine! Even though I feel like my fresh start happens more often than should be acceptable I can’t help but re-challenge myself. Maybe this time it should be less about weight loss and more about redirecting my life.
I joined WW on Monday and even though I’m not fully motivated I know that I cannot continue to live like this, literally! I need to get a grip on self control and get to where I can at least feel comfortable being in public. Everything in my life revolves around my weight issue. I feel like I cannot go out to a bar, restaurant, pool, or other public places without wanting to hide. I turn down opportunity after opportunity, even vacation destinations, due to my weight. It is not just my insecurities, but also my physical size.
I am the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life. Not only do my clothes not fit, but I cannot even find my size in plus size stores anymore! This is terrifying. I have seen people that have gained massive amount of weight after not seeing them for a while; they don’t even look like the same person. I am now that person! I don’t want to run into anyone I know because of my appearance.
Life is so important and my son is my life. From here on out I need to make a promise, not just myself but to him as well, that I will take this weight off. Not only will this help my health, but I will be a less distracted, stressed and frustrated Mom and person.
October of 2011 I have a big trip planned to DISNEY! My goal is to be down 96 lbs by then. That is an average of 2lbs a week which is a healthy goal. This may not bring me to my ultimate goal of loosing 212.2lbs, but it will make it so I can ride all of the rides, walk around without laboring, fly comfortably, and maybe even brave a bathing suit.
So here is to a new Start!!
Until next week…
Jamie Lee :0)
1st weigh-in: 357.2 (9/20/10)
I joined WW on Monday and even though I’m not fully motivated I know that I cannot continue to live like this, literally! I need to get a grip on self control and get to where I can at least feel comfortable being in public. Everything in my life revolves around my weight issue. I feel like I cannot go out to a bar, restaurant, pool, or other public places without wanting to hide. I turn down opportunity after opportunity, even vacation destinations, due to my weight. It is not just my insecurities, but also my physical size.
I am the heaviest I have ever been in my whole life. Not only do my clothes not fit, but I cannot even find my size in plus size stores anymore! This is terrifying. I have seen people that have gained massive amount of weight after not seeing them for a while; they don’t even look like the same person. I am now that person! I don’t want to run into anyone I know because of my appearance.
Life is so important and my son is my life. From here on out I need to make a promise, not just myself but to him as well, that I will take this weight off. Not only will this help my health, but I will be a less distracted, stressed and frustrated Mom and person.
October of 2011 I have a big trip planned to DISNEY! My goal is to be down 96 lbs by then. That is an average of 2lbs a week which is a healthy goal. This may not bring me to my ultimate goal of loosing 212.2lbs, but it will make it so I can ride all of the rides, walk around without laboring, fly comfortably, and maybe even brave a bathing suit.
So here is to a new Start!!
Until next week…
Jamie Lee :0)
1st weigh-in: 357.2 (9/20/10)
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