Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Week 5: Confessions

This is the hard part of blogging to an unknown amount of people, confessing your slip-ups. Last week couldn’t have gotten much worse when it came to eating healthy and being active. Not only did I skip exercise from Thursday on, but I also ate anything and everything I came across for four days. When I say anything I mean it! Here we go… kettle corn, whopper, fries, frozen pizza, delivery pizza, ice cream, cookies, chocolate, mozzarella sticks, raisinettes, and LOTS of Pina Coladas. Not only did I make these bad choices, but I also ate an abundance of them.

From Thursday on I lost all hope in myself. I kept thinking that I will probably always be this way and even if I work really hard to take this weight off I will probably die the day I get to my goal weight anyways! I am the type of person that can really have high hopes and encouragement for other people, but I can rarely find any worth in myself. Since I knew I was getting into a depressive low, I kept praying to God to help me become motivated again and not lose what I already worked so hard for.

The problem is that when I have royally screwed up and have started binging again I can never, and have never, gotten back on track. I lose whatever it is that I fight with when I have urges or that tells me I can get through this. I honestly thought that I had already lost it completely, and if it wasn’t for the people I attend my meetings with I wouldn’t have even bothered going.

Luckily, when I went to the meeting I ended up losing 1lb anyway. Not what my goal was, but I honestly thought I had gained back at least 5lbs. Thank God I Went, because when I woke up Tuesday morning I was ready to exercise and eat right and have faith in everything again. This would be the first time I have ever been so far off track and then gotten back on. This is a personal achievement that means a lot to me. However, if I wouldn’t have lost the pound I am not sure if I would have gotten back on. I suppose it was my own little mini miracle.

I don’t have any firm goals this week. I want to re-train myself turn to other healthy food items when I am breaking down. I’m just happy that I found motivation again and I don’t want to be too hard on myself.

Until next week…

Jamie Lee :0)

Week 5 (10/25/10)

Weigh-in: 346.2 lbs
Loss of: 1 lb

Total Loss: 11 lbs

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Week 4: Travel

First off I made my goal this week of loosing enough weight to make it to my 10lb marker! Thank goodness, but boy was it a challenge. Because I was in Baltimore for five days I was eating on the go often. With stops it ended up being about a seven hour drive so at least one of my main meals was on the road. Before I started this weight loss program I was definitely one for the drive-thru, so it was really hard to drive for seven hours and pass every fast food drive-thru chain about ten times on the way down and back. I made it a point of only stopping once so that I wouldn’t have the temptation to stop frequently for food. I also stuck to grilled options and optional sides instead of French fries and fried options.

When I finally got to my destination, the only things I struggled with were alcohol and snacking. The main meals were pretty healthy and I even made dinner one night to ensure I was eating on plan. But, for someone that does not drink often a glass of wine or a couple beers every night was a lot. I also found myself more hungry than usual. I try all day, when I am on a normal schedule, to snack healthily about every two hours. This stabilizes my hunger and probably boosts my metabolism at the same time. However, I guess I didn’t not bring enough snacks with me because I really only ate the three main meals of the day and found myself getting antsy in between.

One other disadvantage was not having my stationary bike to ride nightly. We did end up getting a bit of walking in between the DC Zoo and the Harbor, but I find myself really unmotivated to get back on now that I am home. Blahh!

Overall I had a really great time seeing one of my best friends and new sites, and I must not have done too badly if I made my goal! My only goal this week is to exercise daily. I need to push myself to get back into the routine before I lose the willpower.

Until next week…

Jamie Lee :0)

Week 4 (10/18/10)

Weigh-in: 347.2 lbs
Loss of: 1.8 lbs

Total Loss: 10 lbs

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Week 3: Good Loss

Over all my week was successful. I didn’t do much dining out this week which helped eliminate unwanted calories and fat. My advice for people who like to dine out (ME!) is to go online and read the nutrition facts before you go out to a restaurant. You wouldn’t believe some of the calories and fat in even the simplest dishes! I have found that by going on a restaurants website and reading through the options you can weed out a lot of bad decisions that you might have thought were okay. It can also open you up to new options. Maybe you will try something that wouldn’t have normally interested you and it may turn into a new favorite. You can also minimize temptation by just knowing what you’re getting before you walk in the door. It can save you from reading through the menu and debating on unhealthy choices. It is a lot easier to resist something from your computer screen then the inside of a restaurant where the atmosphere and sense of smell take over!

Speaking of smells and temptations… I made 24 vanilla cupcakes that smelled like heaven this weekend. They were for my little mini (Halloween themed) and they were hard to resist, so I didn’t! I decided I wanted one and if I didn’t have at least one I would probably eat them all. So, I added less batter to one of the cupcake wrappers and when it was finished I added about a teaspoon and a half of frosting (opposed to the three tablespoons I used on the others.) Then after dinner I had my mini cupcake and coutned in on my tracker. Oh yeah, then I gave away all of the rest to family, friends, and co-workers so that I wouldn’t have to stare at them for three days!

Even though I resisted temptations, I had a hard time sticking to my personal goals last week. I did clean my house, except my bedroom~~SCARY! However, I did not find a self-soothing exercise. I think that this is an important thing to do so I will leave it on my agenda for this week.

My largest goal this week is to lose 2lbs (1.8lbs at minimum) so that I make it to my 10lb marker. This may sound rather easy, but I am taking a trip to Baltimore and I'm extremely worried about how I will do while I am away. I am staying with a very close friend and will have to eat mostly what they provide for main meals. I will be buying some of my own food and maybe even offering to make dinner one night for everyone. We will go out to eat once or twice, but I have become better at making healthier choices while eating out. I have already called this friend ahead of time and let her know that I am serious about sticking to my plan while at her house and that I want to get exercise while I am there as well. If I wasn’t so close to marker than maybe I wouldn’t be as nervous, but I know that if I don’t hit the 10lbs next week I will be soooo disappointed in myself. Cross your fingers for me please!!

Until Next week…

Jamie Lee :0)

Week 3 (10/11/10)

Weigh-in: 349.0 lbs
Loss of: 3 lbs

Total Loss: 8.2 lbs

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Week 2: Consumption

Anyone that knows me knows I am a tad bit obsessive. I easily become consumed with new things whether its people, hobbies, or recent self discoveries. At this point in my weight loss I am finding myself overly obsessed with food. Yes, you could argue I was obsessed with food before, but this is a different type of obsession.

I feel like every minute of the day I am planning around food. I am either planning what to have for a meal, what to buy at the store, or when to eat the next thing on my list. My brain is on overload! Before when I used to binge eat I wouldn’t think about food all day, I would just get an urge and binge and then be done with it. This was definitely not a good approach, but I wasn’t obsessing about food every minute of every day. Because I am attempting to eat every couple hours (to boost my metabolism) I find myself eager to eat the next thing that I pre-planned for the day. The scary thing is it’s not because I am hungry! It’s more like a check list that I feel like I have to accomplish.

I have learned with past experiences that if you fail to plan- plan to fail! Cliché? I know, but true. I know that I have to continue to plan for my day and take challenges as they come to be successful, but how do I do this without it consuming me?

As for my goals for last week I did really well. I started riding my stationary bike every other day and walking in between. I didn’t do full out power walks, but I did walk while my son biked to the playground and things like that. I also did not have a single binge the entire week.

The exercise seems to be going ok, however I am not even close to where I want to be. I want to push myself hard, because in the past I when I did work out I pushed myself to the max. Now I find myself being more cautious because of my weight and the medication I am on for my heart. I’m scared to push too hard in fear of I’ll have a heart attack. I guess I am in my “baby steps” phase.

This week’s weigh-in was disappointing. I still lost, but I didn’t make my 2 pound a week goal. However, my average is still over 2lbs a week so I guess that is what counts. I can’t help but to upset over it though. I made really good choices when I went out to eat and I even resisted all of the crap food at Darien Lake. Oh well, I hope I have better luck next week. (Un-motivating!)

For this next week my goal is to find a self-soothing exercise that is not related to food and work on incorporating that into my schedule. It is important to find something that can relive your stress and make you feel good-however it is hard for someone like me (who relies on food) to find something that truly works. Now that we are done feeling sick, I need to make sure I am spending sometime on my mental health as well as my physical.

Until next week…

Jamie Lee :0)

Week 2 (10/4/10)

Weigh-in: 352.0 lbs
Loss of: 1.6 lbs

Total Loss: 5.2 lbs