Week 2: Consumption

Anyone that knows me knows I am a tad bit obsessive. I easily become consumed with new things whether its people, hobbies, or recent self discoveries. At this point in my weight loss I am finding myself overly obsessed with food. Yes, you could argue I was obsessed with food before, but this is a different type of obsession.

I feel like every minute of the day I am planning around food. I am either planning what to have for a meal, what to buy at the store, or when to eat the next thing on my list. My brain is on overload! Before when I used to binge eat I wouldn’t think about food all day, I would just get an urge and binge and then be done with it. This was definitely not a good approach, but I wasn’t obsessing about food every minute of every day. Because I am attempting to eat every couple hours (to boost my metabolism) I find myself eager to eat the next thing that I pre-planned for the day. The scary thing is it’s not because I am hungry! It’s more like a check list that I feel like I have to accomplish.

I have learned with past experiences that if you fail to plan- plan to fail! Cliché? I know, but true. I know that I have to continue to plan for my day and take challenges as they come to be successful, but how do I do this without it consuming me?

As for my goals for last week I did really well. I started riding my stationary bike every other day and walking in between. I didn’t do full out power walks, but I did walk while my son biked to the playground and things like that. I also did not have a single binge the entire week.

The exercise seems to be going ok, however I am not even close to where I want to be. I want to push myself hard, because in the past I when I did work out I pushed myself to the max. Now I find myself being more cautious because of my weight and the medication I am on for my heart. I’m scared to push too hard in fear of I’ll have a heart attack. I guess I am in my “baby steps” phase.

This week’s weigh-in was disappointing. I still lost, but I didn’t make my 2 pound a week goal. However, my average is still over 2lbs a week so I guess that is what counts. I can’t help but to upset over it though. I made really good choices when I went out to eat and I even resisted all of the crap food at Darien Lake. Oh well, I hope I have better luck next week. (Un-motivating!)

For this next week my goal is to find a self-soothing exercise that is not related to food and work on incorporating that into my schedule. It is important to find something that can relive your stress and make you feel good-however it is hard for someone like me (who relies on food) to find something that truly works. Now that we are done feeling sick, I need to make sure I am spending sometime on my mental health as well as my physical.

Until next week…

Jamie Lee :0)

Week 2 (10/4/10)

Weigh-in: 352.0 lbs
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Loss of: 1.6 lbs

Total Loss: 5.2 lbs